I had a dream I was super cool and everybody loved me

The other night I dreamt that I was really cool. I was in this college town — a great place to be cool. I was new to to the town. It wasn't Provo or BYU or anywhere I'd been. It was a small community, almost like a Disneyland-type feel where people mostly walked in the streets instead of drove. I remember how cool I looked. I was wearing a striped shirt and maybe something tied around my waist. I may have even had a backwards cap on (Monkey Trouble style), but in a much more 'effortlessly cool'/Madewell-type way. At one point I think I gave someone a high five. (Yeah!)

There was a pool at the college and I had a little baby that I was swimming with. But I was legit swimming. So much so that I discovered I could breathe underwater. I went to my friend who was a big bald guy and told him I could breathe underwater with this baby, and he tried it and he could too. He was swimming laps with a little baby carrier on his back and both were breathing just fine. That was the end of that. (I wasn't that cool in this part, besides the fact that I could breathe underwater like a mermaid.)

I went to college and I was working as a teaching assistant. I was TAing for The Daily Universe (BYU's student newspaper) AND for American Heritage. One class was at 4 p.m. and another was at 5 p.m. I remember thinking, "Oh, perfect. I'll get to TA for both." Next thing I know, someone from Amer Her comes in and says, "Oh you actually got assigned to the wrong time, and you're teaching at 4 p.m." So then I had to decide.

I never did decide but I remember thinking I needed to decide. I went to my new American Heritage class and walked in, not totally knowing what I was doing, but everybody there was so nice. I knew a lot of people there: some were former students from American Heritage, some were people from college and others form high school, like Emily Mortenson. My former roommate Lucy Brimhall was there. And even one of my very favorite professors of all time, Dr. de Schweinitz was there. So I go in and I start teaching and since it's the first day, we are doing introductions. And people are LOVING me. Everything I said they thought was so funny or adorable or smart. It seems like when they looked at me, their faces would light up, as if they were thinking, "What an amazing, intelligent, adorable creature." We went through the class and I started introducing people to the whole class, as if it were my own, private dinner party held in a giant auditorium and everyone there were my closest friends (except Emily Mortenson told me she goes by 'Emmy' now).

At one point Dr. de Schweinitz handed me a paper, all proud looking, and it had an offer to go on a London study abroad with her, and she would pay for my ticket! I was like, "Wow! I am so awesome!" We got through the introductions, and at the end, I noticed that everybody had different kinds of little trinkets below their desks at their feet. They were all fabulous. (If you have listened to me talk about my dreams for any extended period of time, you know trinkets make a VERY REGULAR appearance.) So, the two trinkets I saw were both animal figurines. One was a solid brass puppy dog (a golden dog?!). So cute. Someone else had this awesome set of teeny tiny glass tigers. The glass was like...blow glass and had a rainbow of specks in it. They were so beautiful. (I don't know why people had these. As awesome as my day was going, the trinkets were not for me.)

As I was finishing up, the eery thought of my old AH boss coming in kept lurking. I had no idea what I was supposed to teach that day. I didn't even have my beloved, trusty American Heritage binder!

I think that's when I woke up.

Oh! I almost forgot. There was a point in my dream when somebody came in carrying a JELLYFISH BALLOON. It was so amazing it was like a big half circle mylar balloon on the top, and the bottom was flat and had all these purple/magenta ribbons hanging off it. People sang me happy birthday and it was from Lucy! It was so nice and it wasn't even my birthday!

Now, here's where I talk about what I think my dreams mean. Some people don't think you should interpret dreams because they mean nothing. Some people also say you shouldn't believe in God. Some people say you shouldn't get vaccines. I don't go around policing them, so if you don't think dreams mean anything, then go tell your Facebook friends. Some day soon I will write about why I think almost all dreams are from God, and why I pay attention to them.

I have three basic ways to analyze my dreams, and I utilize all of them when I try hard enough.

  1. First, I check Dream Moods. It is hands down my favorite app on my phone and I will NEVER delete it. It's basically a dream dictionary. I don't rely on it heavily, but I do believe in the symbols. I didn't get a degree in psychology, so I turn to this to better understand what things tend to mean in the Western psyche/subconscious. 
  2. Next, I try to think beyond what Dream Moods can tell me. What's been going on in my life? What have I been thinking about? Feeling? Doing? Has anything recently happened to me recently that might contribute to the content of this dream? Has anything recently happened to me recently that might contribute to the meaning of this dream? Could those be related at all?
  3. I consult my dream-wise sister, Melissa. Frequently, I ask my mom as well.
P.S. If I don't write a dream down, none of this happens. Writing it down is basically the only way dreams mean anything for me. I will forget them within a few minutes if I don't write it down after I wake up. Sometimes this is not possible, and I write it down at work or on my phone. If I am in good practice at this, I remember dreams better and can go a little longer before writing it down. But even then, I know I forget some of the feelings and details of the dream.

So, what do I think this particular dream means?

Here's what Dream Moods has to offer.
To dream that you are breathing underwater represents a retreat back into the womb. You want to return to a state where you were dependent and free from responsibilities. Perhaps you are feeling helpless, unable to fulfill your own needs and caring for yourself.  Alternatively, you may be submerged in your own emotions.

To dream that you are popular signifies your desires to be liked and recognized. You want others to look up to you. Alternatively, the dream represents your insecurities. You are looking for some reaffirmation, encouragement and approval from others.

They have a definition on trinkets but since that's a reoccurring theme in my dreams, I'm not going to include it here. I need more time to think about it.

The popularity thing makes TOTAL sense to me. I have really hit a rough patch in my associations with other people recently. Part of it is my work: I just don't jive with people at work and feel I have no real friends (except the interns). I do not thrive in this environment. I think I felt like college was my Girls Camp in a way. (Girls Camp is where I came to find out some of my biggest personality characteristics, and I really thrived there.) At BYU, I felt liked, I felt unique, I felt like I was flourishing because I was constantly meeting new friends, new ideas and new circumstances. I really ate it up in college — especially when I was well-liked. It makes sense why this dream took place in a college town. Right now in my job, this is not happening. I also feel a little awkward in my ward and other social situations since being married for the past four months. I'm not quite sure how I relate to people, and if I'm as valuable to people (men and women, but in different ways) married as I was single. It's been a rough go. I think it really puts a strain on me that I don't feel like I'm my best self right now. That obviously came out in my dream.

The breathing underwater thing makes a little sense, but I think it's a little more subconscious-y than it is helpful. That's the thing with Dream Moods/dream dictionaries. If it's not helpful, I don't pay too much attention to it.  The other thing people will probably pick up on is that a lot of dream dictionaries are like horoscopes or fortune cookies — I mean, who doesn't have a desire to be liked or recognized? Who doesn't want to be free from responsibilities? You have to use a little common sense, but not too much here.

Obviously, I've always been sort of split between my love for journalism and my love for American Studies. I double majored in both in college, and really wanted to just be able to mesh the two forever. Recently, I've been doing only journalism and no American Studies. Maybe my spirit/subconscious believes I will somehow be happier in a field more related to American Studies? I don't think it's telling me to go get a PhD or something.

But what makes me think this dream is significant, aside from the definite significance-meter going off after the dream, is that I haven't really been thinking about American Studies at all. I haven't really thought about going back to school or anything. In my waking life, it doesn't really appeal to me to do so. So I'm not sure how that one came out of left field. It's possible my brain is just hearkening back to a time when I was more successful, and definitely happier in my secular pursuits.

One of the most vivid parts about the dream was I really, really felt like myself. I felt liked and loved, accepted for who I am in a really good way — a feeling I haven't felt in my waking life for some time now (excepting in my marriage). I do think it may have been an urge to explore other career options.

Come to the Lord often

I've been feeling really, really awful lately. It's hard for me to get out of bed, get to work on time, and stay at work the whole day. I just haven't been myself. Even though I don't feel like I'm at my spiritual strongest right now, I have been leaning — as I always have — on praying.

But it's not the act of praying alone. It's the reality that someone is there and cares that forces me to believe in God that I lean on. For whatever reason, it totally helps.

That's why today, these verse were especially wonderful to me from Zenos.

When I did turn to my house thou didst hear me in my prayer. 
And when I did turn unto my coset, O Lord, and prayed unto thee, thou didst hear me. 
Yea, thou art merciful unto thy children when they cry unto thee, to be heard of thee and not of men, and thou wilt hear them.
Yeah, O God, thou has been merciful unto me...
And thou didst hear me because of mine afflictions and my sincerity; and it is because of they Son that thou hast been thus merciful unto me, therefore I will cry unto thee in all mine afflictions, for in thee is my joy.
(Alma 33: 6-11). 

Last night, Blake gave me a blessing in which he said that I should "Come to the Lord often." And I have. Even just today. At work when I was sick countless times. When I wanted to cry because someone else hurt me. When I thought my boss was being too hard on me. Each time, I came to the Lord, — just a thought in my mind — and each time I felt a little sustaining from him.