cami girl.

cami. my girl. i love you. happy 19th. you are so 19. you embody 19. you will be famous and amazing at whatever you do. point park is a lucky little school. pittsburgh is fortunate to have you. can't wait to see you.

cami has been my oldest, dearest, and longest-standing friend. we have been friends since we were 3. how wonderfully cliche. i love our relationship because we always had each other as constant sort-of friends our entire lives. but as we matured and got into our jr. and sr. year of highschool, she became one of my very best friends. cami will always have one of the most unique corners of my heart. i can't think of anyone with the same affection as i do cami. we always had common interests. so many of which i simply copied her. we danced at southwest together forever. {that only one i was original at, but only she followed through.} she was the one who introduced me to grey's anatomy. when i started taking interest in musical theater, she welcomed me with open arms. and did i mention she is the most talented person i know? she would kick any broadway star out of their role with style and credibility too. i love you cam.

what christmas means to me #2

hooray for my sorry, sorry excuse for christmas decorations. let's hope for some evolution.

a small? gathering.

for some reason, even though i have been labeled 'anti-boy' in the ward, people think our house is a hot spot for parties. {smirk.} anyhow, michael asked us if he could throw a suprise party for cameron at our house. sure, why not? this is like half a percent of the people crammed into our apartment monday night.

here today. {gone} tomorrow.

yes. that's a mattress in the tree.

today was the day they began tearing down {dt.} kinda sad, no? did you ever live there? spend a week there? a weekend? a quick visit? i spent 10 nights there. {efy twice.} when i heard on the radio that they were tearing them down today, i knew i had to go. i thought i would see hordes of people, young and old, coming to watch their pasts, their college memories, their lives even, fall to the rubble. but i was alone in my pursuit to see these old dorms torn up. except for a hurried journalist who drove by in his ksl-fm-90-something-truck and asked me, "did you live there?" i admitted, "no. i never did." sorry sir. no story.

i learned today that each level of each tower was built in the parking lot. and then they would just pick it up and put on top of the first one. so if an earthquake were to happen, the floors would just collapse one on top of the other. what a blessing that never happened. but it does make sense then {hopefully you can tell by the pictures} that they simply ripped the bottom-most floor first. after the foundation is gone, i'm sure it is nearly crumbling-point. i also saw men bashing the structural walls in on the other floors. perhaps i'll go tomorrow and see if there is anything left.

i did arrive a bit too early, though. too little wreckage and too much left standing for an 'interesting' story. i'm glad i arrived when i did. because if buildings could cry, these ones did. they seemed so dignified there. so much life in them. so many secrets + pizza dinners + early mornings + late-night romances + studying + everything college-beautiful. like a tall tree, they stood. holding on as long as they could. like the last tree in the forest. with little else remaining to hold onto but their own pride.

new color quiz.

you are turquoise

Your dominant hues are green and blue. You're smart and you know it, and want to use your power to help people and relate to others. Even though you tend to battle with yourself, you solve other people's conflicts well.

Your saturation level is higher than average - You know what you want, but sometimes know not to tell everyone. You value accomplishments and know you can get the job done, so don't be afraid to run out and make things happen.

Your outlook on life is bright. You see good things in situations where others may not be able to, and it frustrates you to see them get down on everything.
the spacefem.com html color quiz

defines you from a graphic artist's perspective. hue {how you think}, saturation {how much you do about it}, and lightness {the effect you think it has}

what are you?



saw this on {unruly.things}. just type in your name on {flickr} and see what you love that comes up. i espeically love this best friend cardigan.


every tuesday + thursday i come to this corner of the marb {martin building, i think it means. but i just call it the marb out of ingnorance.} everyday i go in the door to the right of the corner; but i always want and wish to go in the other door. the only problem is, i wouldn't know how to get to my class from there. so i must go through the same door every day. this is the kind of thing i do to myself. i want to do something very badly, and i don't for a silly reason, or just by chance. then me not doing something becomes a tradition. everytime i go to disneyland, i looooong for one of those huge turkey meat leg things. but i never get one. it's tradition.

what christmas means to me #1

i haven't shopped at the gap since i was probably 12. undoubtedly, some day i will return. but as christmastime rolls around, my heart longs to enter through those enormous glass doors, and wander through the cableknit and cashmere. possibly pick up some wool socks, or maybe a bottle of dream. and always a chapstick or nail polish. for some reason, for me, christmas means gap.


missing lipgloss

if you are missing a pleasantly pink, covergirl lip gloss, please notify the boy who was sitting next to me in the jsb auditorium this morning.

"this is going to be really embarassing if this is not yours," said the boy as he pulled out the pink tube, "but is it yours?"

he asked the girl whom i assume he was romantically pursusing. it was no less than obvious with their awkward banter about human anatomy. the young lady lauged and said "no."

how embarassed he was. so please. if you left your lip gloss in the backseat of this boy's car, he was sitting in the center section, on the far left side of a row in the middle.

just so you know.


self discovery: 04

two-fold discovery.

doesn't everyone have a little something they do when they are nervous? you know in roger+hammersteins cinderella, the one step-sister itches while the other laughs.

i discovered today, i smile when i am nervous. how silly it is. and misleading. the person/people i am nervous in front of must get the wrong impression. who knows whether it is that i am a giddy fool or that i am truly calm and relaxed. i do enjoy it though. sometimes i just startle myself and realize: boy am i smiling a lot. my cheeks begin to ache and i start to wonder, why am i smiling like a bafoon? but it is not a smile of bafoonery, i believe it is a true inner-joy that leads to my next self-disovery.

i love doing things that scare me. if i had one piece of advice for someone that wants to prepare for college, or be successful, or just simply live well..it would be to be brave sometimes. it is that extra moment after your brain says 'do x.' and your soul says, 'no way! i'm too scared.' and you realize, that is precisely why you should do x. so you do x, and you smile your guts out. and x turns out not to be so bad. and mr.x says 'you don't have to be nervous to do x.'

the shower for kate.

fun to put such a thing together. high stress and fun results.


and what a lovely holiday it was. food was delicious. family, hilarious. and free time, delighful. can't wait to do it again in 4 weeks. missed you em. busy with catching up + finals coming up + dreaming up some projects for an all-too-creative + collaborative christmas exchange. hmm. glad and sad to be back. optimism is just the ticket, don't you think? promise to be back in the saddle again. blogging is never a burden, but sometimes, last priority.

truly though. i am thankful for you.


blog brains.

cash advance

Get a Cash Advance

saw this on {orange}. college. appropriate, no?


i'm in love with {thursdays}.

registered for classes at 12:01 am. excited to start some new things, though it feels like i've just begun here. i'm in love with the mysteries of {time}.

went to bed last night at 4:30 am. i always take intermitting naps. i always enjoy getting up early more when i have gone to bed at such a late hour. i'm in love with {sleep}.

i am slowly and subtly trying to slide back into the habits of high school: i've been asking my parents to call me and make sure i'm awake. it feels great. hardly beneficial to me. but what nostalgia to hear my dad's voice at 6:30 am. nothing says childhood more. i'm in love with {home}.

love school. love it. can't imagine being anywhere but here. have been spending a lot of times in the basement at the mail center. love it there. would and could spend all day there. plopped down on a soft bench to write love notes and sad ones. i'm in love with {corresponding+sending+bundling+licking+stamping+waiting}.

officially declared my major as pre-comms. onward and upward. i'm in love with {having a plan}.

have tests+papers+books+research+more reasearch to do before thanksgiving. i'm in love with {positive stress}.

first experience this week and today witnessing everyone so extremely excited to just go home. a new slate. a break and breather. this anxious unity hazes all over campus. scurrying to get it all done just to be able to breathe for a week. i'm in love with {holiday}.

cleaning check. out of control. racing to do a mound of dishes+scrub the tub+remove skeletons from the closet. we passed. i must repeat to myself that i will do my roommates dishes gladly. i will do it gladly. i will do it gladly. i'm in love with {pruned fingers}.

freshman academy took a fieldtrip to a printing-press museum. an awe-filled wonder. loved it. gutenberg was a genuis. pure genius. wish we all could take a trip together to this quaint museum. i'm in love with {togetherness+innovation}.

cannot avoid a sadness for a dear and admirable friend. how must we deal with sadness. i'm in love with {optimism}.

i'm in love with {thursdays}.

pearly girl.

a preview. such a lovely dress. such a lovely girl.

look what i found.

uh-oh. look what i found. or rather, what {someone} showed me. it is the most bounteous and wonderous of all places, one of many campus greenhouses. where landscapers and botanists and florists meet to do their work. the smell was amazing, and never a more delightful place to eat lunch + chat + sit + organize + then...just breathe. the purest oxygen around.


laundry delights.

my first experience at the laundromat was a nightmare. it was my first saturday at school. as was every other freshman's. i did a million loads in one machine, working everything out through trial and error. i now choose to do my laundry in the middle of the night {the laundromat is open 24/7!}. it is so peaceful. a wonderful place to nod off while reading the narrative and life of frederick douglass.

thomas s. monson.

i never cease to be overwhelmed on tuesdays from 2 things. {1} the filling of the entire marriott center. so many people. and {2} the level of merit the speakers always have. have said before, wouldn't miss it for the world. {however, i was a little peeved yesterday because the seat-saving-epidemic was sweeping the room. when saving seats, do so in moderation.}

a shower for kate.

thanks to the hard work from the 333 girls, these little goodies are on their way. a shower for kate. consider yourself invited. 11.23.07 at 1 pm.



things {urban outfitters} i know won't wait til christmas.

go grizzlies.

jim took us to a lovely game of hockey at the e-center on saturday. {thank you}. an evening filled with dancing, shouting, kiss cam, chuck-a-puck, disgustingly appropriate nachos+popcorn+burritos+pizza, a big bear, and an all-too-close loss.

the sock game

how to play:
stuff a long sock with other socks. sit on the ground with knees bent up to chest, feet in the center in a tight circle. with many people, so that there is no space between any two people. the "it" squats in the middle and tries to find the sock, which is being passed underneath all of the bent legs. while "it" is searching for the sock, anyone in the circle who has the sock, hits the "it" with the sock. this continues until the "it" reaches uderneath the legs and captures the sock.