image via audreyhepburncomplex

"for the world I count it not an Inn, but a Hospital, and a place not to live but to die in."
- Sir Thomas Browne, Religio Medici

I don't feel this way--I just read it and thought it was beautiful.


I liked this tv show before, but yesterday when Joe asked for diamonds on the soles of his shoes, it validated my existence.


I was thinking:

I successfully sat next to a baby blue t-shirt today. took me 3 weeks. moving at a snail's pace is okay.

the world is small because we were meant to meet each other. don't you think? if you didn't live underneath me this year, we would have met next year because you were on the same high school track team as my ex-boyfriend. or if you weren't a TA, we would have met because you lived in CP in the summer and I lived there in the winter and even though we never overlapped, we would still have mutual friends and therefore would have met at some girl's surprise birthday party.

things like buying a trash can for our kitchen give me anxiety. are we going to split the cost among the 4 of us? not that I don't mind paying the entire $7--but if I do, that means I have to figure out what I'm doing next summer. will I move it to my new apartment while I do an internship in Salt Lake? or will I be staying in this apartment? will it go to the new residents of #12 while I leave the world behind for a year and a half? or will I take it to a new apartment with a husband? or will I store it at my parents while I attend the high school graduation of 13 Indians?

and last year at this time I was writing sappy poetry about the eyes of potential suitors at my door.


I discovered polyvore via this blog and thought it was neat. if I had more time I could actually do it instead of just blog about it. someday. but it's a site that allows you to make your own collage with a million different products and images. I thought it was pretty clever.


empty thoughts.

I wish I had more time to think about things other than school and work. but I don't.

I am still TAing for American Heritage. this semester I am the luckiest TA though. I am teaching the international sections--which means I am teaching all the non-American students in the class. in my first lab last week I cried--I just loved seeing those beautiful people from all over the world in one room. they are all so brave.

I really like school. sometimes I can't believe that I being at BYU is kind of permanent. walking through the bookstore this year was different--instead of organizing things by classes, they organized them alphabetically. that means I see books for lots of other classes. they all look so interesting.

I have more responsibilities than ever, and I am kind of getting used to this whole adult thing. I like it. I have a long way to go before I am a real adult, but I am feeling older every day.

my creative juices aren't flowing. and that's all there is to it. I am writing for BYU's news blog. check it out. my first post.

missed connections.

missed connections.


september 9.

beautiful photo by Oscar Wong.
via all the mountains.



of course I'm having an identity crisis. it's what I do best. and I've been avoiding the old college try in all its forms. reading Huffington Post's chapter on better blogging for my new media class guilted me into posting. I don't have anything specific to say. I just need to get in the habit of saying something. the identity of my blog has changed in the last few months--and the lack of posts since India-mania reflects my own personal confusion. I don't know how to balance my time in India with the rest of my identity. what I am asking of you is that you stay with me while I re-explore all that I had in the last 2 years--but post-India.

school has started and I'm rediscovering how appropriate it is that what you study to get a degree in is called a major. that way, the major crisis I have at the beginning of every semester has a double meaning. but the first week of school is over and so is my crisis. I am remaining a double major in Print Journalism and American Studies with a minor in International Development. in other words, I'm graduating in another 3 years. the words of a devotional last semester keep ringing through my head: "you don't reach Serendip by plotting a course for it. you have to set out in good faith for elsewhere and lost your bearings...serendipitously" (Matthew J. Shumway, BYU, 2009).

I guess for now that's all I have to say. I am erasing the 10 GB of pictures on my SD cards, keeping it all on my computer of course. but promise to take some of the empty memory to campus and start documenting my life now. not my life then.