two-fold discovery.
doesn't everyone have a little something they do when they are nervous? you know in roger+hammersteins cinderella, the one step-sister itches while the other laughs.
i discovered today, i smile when i am nervous. how silly it is. and misleading. the person/people i am nervous in front of must get the wrong impression. who knows whether it is that i am a giddy fool or that i am truly calm and relaxed. i do enjoy it though. sometimes i just startle myself and realize: boy am i smiling a lot. my cheeks begin to ache and i start to wonder, why am i smiling like a bafoon? but it is not a smile of bafoonery, i believe it is a true inner-joy that leads to my next self-disovery.
i love doing things that scare me. if i had one piece of advice for someone that wants to prepare for college, or be successful, or just simply live well..it would be to be brave sometimes. it is that extra moment after your brain says 'do x.' and your soul says, 'no way! i'm too scared.' and you realize, that is precisely why you should do x. so you do x, and you smile your guts out. and x turns out not to be so bad. and mr.x says 'you don't have to be nervous to do x.'
1 comment:
That is a great observation. I discovered the same thing about myself recently. I smile when I am nervous. I realized that I do it to hide nervousness or other emotions. After being told many times "you're hard to read" and asked "why are you laughing" I realized that people don't know what to think. So now I'm trying to stop smiling so much, and just embrace and admit my true emotions (nervousness, awkwardness, uneasiness). I thnk it's good for me.... Not that this is the same thing you do, but maybe... or maybe it's just your inner joy.
-Jon
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