on hope.

hope is a funny little thing.  i thought i would find out about my ta job on monday or tuesday.  but i didn't.  so i pushed all my hopes out of my mind.  figured i hadn't gotten the position. if i had, they would have called me.  my hopes were shattered.

today, i finally got ticked off at the unprofessionality of not calling and decided to call and just see...if i could apply again. or if i could do something better. or what have you.  they said the letters on the status of the position were mailed out today. oh gosh.  every hope i had in my head returned. there i was, and here i am, planning my lessons and planning my outfits.  this life--continually getting my hopes up.  i have no better chance of getting the position than i did the first time when i thought they would call.  why, then, do i have such high hopes?  just to have them fall to my feet again.  we shall see what hope a small envelope waiting inside a metal box has left. oh me of little faith.