in my first year of college, i've built a lot of bridges. i've made so many friends, and they're not too hard to make. there are so many people here, and so many opportunities, that it wouldn't make sense not to meet and greet and know a plethora of people.
recently, however, i have felt that i have already burnt a lot of those bridges. and not in the usual sense of the word...i haven't done anything drastic. but i just feel like maybe i never fully crossed the bridges. or they weren't ever really finished being built. which makes me wonder, have i built that many bridges? how long does it take to build what the metaphor requires? i have been thinking that i just don't keep in touch with people. i make friends really easily, but keeping them is another story. i hope this doesn't sound like an outcry for compliments or an essay of self-pity. but i think my first impression is more fun and/or less demanding than my lasting impression. my 'nice to meet you' self is much more pleasant or desirable than my real self.
most of it is self-inflicted. i do a lot of avoiding--for lack of a better word. the majority of times, i do have a desire to keep in touch or be friends. but it doesn't seem to be all that worth-while. nor is it easy.
this is one reason why i'm good at fixing people up. or why i always feel like friend b stole friend a. or friend a + friend b are better friends than i ever was with either--even though i introduced them.
i'm not sad or mad. this is no reflection of anything recent. it's just some thoughts. thanks for letting me think to you.
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