poetry.

my creative writing class is really great. we have finished our poetry sector and I am really stuck on it. I've never really used poetry before, but find myself thinking in its form and free verse. it seems to express things in a way I never explored before. I thought I'd share one I am workshopping. inputs would be greatly appreciated.

to Chelsi

I went there today. Where the breathing
is stale and moist fumes of fever
permeate.

Yes, I went there today for the first time
since the last time
I saw you. And I knew
that today,
I would not see you there.

But I remembered that last time
I saw you there. There
in that room of lockers stained
with army brown.
How we
talked of little sisters
as if the pastel stone corridors were
a sofa and coffee table.

My mind did not permit
me to fix my heavy eyes on the brown
skinned girl whose starching white
ribbon planted itself in the ink of your hair.

And when I went there today
I could not waltz to the
site where I last glimpsed your careful
figure, chiseled with labor
before it lay lifeless through my weeping
view in that pricey black
rectangle of fate.

I went there, to that place
where I last saw you.
And those wet odors tiptoed into me
like your memory sometimes does
in the afternoons.