I've been thinking about my age. I'm solidly 19. it seems strange to be the age you are for only one year. I can never get used to the age I'm in before it grows by a digit.
being born in August, my parents had a choice to make--I could be young or I could be old. (I know you know that your age is your age. and when people say "are you young for your age?" you can't really question their intelligence because you've asked the same question). they had to choose when to put me in school. my parents chose to enroll me in kindergarten when I was 4. so I have always been young for my age.
all throughout high school I was one of the last to drive, to date, to turn 18 and so forth. last year I was the youngest of the young. not much has changed this year either. since the nature of BYU is that there are no males between the ages of 19 and 20, if you are a 19-year-old female, the males you associate with are 21 or older. a 19 year old female is still young.
my entire life, though, I've been the young one--even among my own peers. but I am now entering the realm of adulthood where age is age according to your age, not according to the academic calendar. the lines are blurred and from now on I'll just be my age. I'll just be old.
when you're a TA, everyone just assumes you're old. this is partly due to the nature of being a student of a TA--he or she an authority figure, and therefore, older. the other reason is that as a terrified TA, you HAVE to assume everyone you are responsible for, is a freshman. as the youngest TA, I would not have made it if I hadn't have faked it. but in the end, most of my students who I forced myself to assume were little babes, are much older and more seasoned than I am.
let me reiterate--I will never be young again. I've lived my youth. and now I'm old.
my roommates and I have an ongoing debate about whether the most attractive males are 'men' or 'boys.' I say boys. I don't know how you can look at Zac's face and see anything but handsome. but according to L, he's a boy. same with Nick, Kevin, and Joe. there's no reasoning with her. except to say, yes. maybe they are boyish. but as long as I'm with a boyish looking man, I will be young. my obsession with Disney Channel stars then, is justified.
I'm still young.
1 comment:
I am currently 20, but will be 21 on February 15. I feel old at times, when certain situations occurs and other times, I tend to feel young. I act young; often not my age. However, it is good to stop and reflect on age and how we are developing as individual humans. I do enjoy reading your blog and experiences thus far as TA. Sometimes the age feels just like a number as the general public usually say.
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