on studying journalism.

after celebrating my sister-in-law's graduation, my mom and I decided to see State of Play. and I loved it. there's so much I could say about it. but mostly, I just love that Rachel McAdams. she's really great. and in the words of Spencer, this movie made me really glad that journalism is my life.

it would be nice if my future were a little clearer. but I guess that's why it's the future. of course, the movies make everything look so glamorous. even being that army assassin guy wasn't looking too bad (joking). sometimes I think I'm too lazy to do the kind of hard core, investigative reporting showed on the movie. but I know that any other kind of reporting (i.e. covering freshman, dining, and construction) just wouldn't cut it for more than 4 months at a time. the glamor in that movie is why I want to be a journalist. and I think at BYU, I forget it.

most people in college (and in life) are enamored with this idea of "passion." it doesn't matter what you do, as long as your passionate about it. right? I would answer yes, in some respects. for most of my young-adult life, however, I have been skeptical of this way of thinking. it's sort of a fairy-tale paradigm--a mindset I can typically get behind. but for some reason, I've been a little too jaded to see the world this way. what I have covered since coming to college, is that there are things I am definitely passionate about. I leave some classes crying with excitement, touched or moved by the material and my future in it. through these experiences, I have come to the conclusion that there is something to be said about the way one feels in a certain field of work. I have discovered, the more I have felt it, the more I need it.

hardly ever have I left a journalism class feeling giddy or inspired. yes, there have been days when I felt good about the story I wrote for the campus newspaper. or even lectures that stimulated my thought process. but my heart doesn't race daily in my communications classes the way it does in my American studies classes. perhaps that's the nature of the beast: studying journalism isn't romantic the way studying Emerson or Whitman is. maybe memorizing AP Style can't really be compared to analyzing the Federalist Papers or Thomas Cole. I can accept that. but I refuse to accept that journalism does not lend itself to academically engaging, intellectually challenging, heart-racing discussion, literature, and analysis.

in addition to the differences in material, I also think I can attribute this lack of 'passion' to the faculty. for the most part, I adore my journalism professors and know they could be stellar, big-time journalists. which brings me to my point--they're not stellar, big-time journalists. they're professors. they opted out of the whole reporter/practicing journalist thing. if you are passionate about studying the Puritans, you don't practice Puritanism--you get your PhD in American History and teach at a university. but if you are passionate about journalism, you practice it. you write. you report. my professors are lawyers and researchers and PhD holders. and whatever they once were, they're not reporters anymore.

no matter the cliches of passion-driven career choices, I want to be motivated by more than the promise of a diploma. this fall, when I leave classrooms each day, I want to feel as excited about journalism as I did when I left that movie tonight.

{I'm not sure how much of this makes sense. just my thoughts.}