hello march.

V-day tulips. love them.

Berkmans.

goodbye february.

i love february and haven't considered its end until today. i dreamt of going back to Shanti Bhavan last night. i dream of going back often, and every time it's different--never the same as the last and never the same as it truly is. in my dream i recognized the children, but i couldn't remember their names--the same thing that happens to me as i look through my photos and their faces make my heart beat fast but the memory of their names is distant from the front of my mind. i remember seeing Berkmans, though.

march will be a good month, i suppose. although, i'm not feeling optimistic about it today. maybe tomorrow will be different. or even this afternoon. i can't say why my heart is so feeble. i'm so impressionable, so pliable. i can glide through my days as if through air until i topple-- head over heels--and now, my heart is sunk. why can't it just be stronger? why can't i be more independent and less gullible.

today i'm allowing my heart to dream of going back to SB.