Today was....good. I stayed up WAY too late last night. The WAY is added because I wasn't doing anything productive; let-alone homework. But luckily I didn't have class until 1:00.
I have had plans since last night to go home to St. George for a friend's missionary farewell, not to mention DHS Homecoming game. But at the last minute I decided against it. I'm sorry for false pretenses. I just don't know how well I'm going to hack this whole college thing. Ha. No, I am doing fine. The work load is heavy, however.
I have feelings of self-doubt, worry and fear. I know I WANT to work hard and that I'm willing, but I have faltering faith in whether I'm capable to perform my school work as well as I would like. I am worried I don't know how to think. I feel I have been babied...and only to my own fault; to blame teachers or anyone else for my lack of 'risk-taking' or my ability to think 'outsid the box' would be innacurate. I know I begged and pleaded my teachers to tell me EXACTLY what they wanted, instead of doing it my way. I don't want to discredit myself of things that I've achieved; I feel confident in almost all the choices I've made. But I do feel regretful that I'm not exactly sure how to be...independent in thought. And finally, I am fearsome of an undesired outcome. A combination of these.