self discovery 07: what i want.

photo. 

first time: i remember reading in a book that i didn't know what the book was about or why i was reading it. i remember it wasn't even  a particularly good or well-written book. but i read this line out of it: fall returned like a bookmark saving  the page, right where we left off. and it was written much more eloquently...but just the idea was beautiful. i was probably about 10 or 11. and i just thought. wow, i want to write like that. 

i want to write like her, or her. like that. 

but in my studies (hmm about 2 weeks.) of writing, it's not doing anything for me. i love the media, and i want to interject my opinion and change people's minds, and defend the things in my head.  the ambition in me wants to write something the whole world will read. that will upset some people. or cause some havoc, if only a little. what truly troubles me is reporting. disappearing in what i write. becoming so transparent that i won't even be forgotten--for forgetting would require that something was at one time remembered. i'm consternated by the ever-changing face of the media. it simply does not stand for longer than a day. just thinking out loud. 

surely, there are more marvelous ways than one to influence the world.