fall is here.

1.
and who'd have guessed. the trees around me are on fire, and I have yet to take a good photo. over french fries and chicken wings at Applebee’s, we talked and talked of the great weather we’ve been having, all over dinner. the conversation, though, inevitably jumps off a cliff when someone brings up the day. the day is a reference to the day we wake up with a knife in our backs. the day we discover the dirty love letters that Summer wrote to Winter—every evidence of their affair makes itself known in the form of Autumn. and now, that day has come. how could this happen? we ask ourselves and consider going on a scripted talk show to play the whole thing out. Every moment we ever shared with Summer is a bitter memory. the seasons have changed, and now we wear pea-coats and walk to school with a runny nose.

2.
life has been good lately. good but confusing.

dead babies have been making appearances in my dreams lately. I turn and there it is on the ground, genderless, swaddled in a thin blue blanket. I don’t know it is dead until someone holds it up, and then it is dead. he sets it back down, and I walk, looking down at it as I pass.

"to see a dead baby in your dream,” my trusted online dream dictionary tells me, “symbolizes the ending of something that is part of you.”

the telling rings true, but as is customary with change, makes me uncomfortable. I guess I am changing.

3.
my computer died. the computer itself is being resurrected by a genius even as I write. but the life inside it is gone. 6000 photos. 2000 songs. a year's worth of college essays. all dead and buried in a coffin that blinks itself on and off again--blue folder with a question mark. 2 pieces of advice: 1. buy applecare. no matter what. 2. back up your hard drive. no matter what.

4.
I'm applying to do a field study in India. I don't know if I've told anyone that. but hopefully by Spring '09 I will be living with a family in the jewel--researching the impacts of online journalism on development among the Indian people.

5.
I hope you haven't been wondering if I still love my blog. I still do. I love it as much as ever. it just seems my creative juices aren't flowing as freely anymore. and my time each day dwindles. but I am still here. following all of you.