winter is back. and I'm kind of glad--mostly because I am pretty sure it's not here to stay. the March winds are sort of getting to me, but other than that--I'm more than fine with this little surprise snow.when I had a sort of self-epiphany today, I realized I hadn't posted a self discovery in a while. so here goes nothing:
in my world religions class, the final moments of my monastic experience. I wanted to share a little bit of the insights I had these past 14 days. everyone was sharing good thought, but I wanted to put my 2 cents in as well. I raised my hand and gave a 30 second version of yesterday's post. but I felt misunderstood. someone else raised their hand and shared an "opposing" view. I say "opposing" in quotes because she was saying it like she was disagreeing with me, but I totally agreed with everything she said.
it was so frustrating to me that I imagined myself going up to her after class and telling her I knew what she was talking about. I felt so frustrated that what I said had come across differently than I had meant it. what was I thinking? who cares? would I really go to such great lengths to let her know that I knew what she was saying...blah blah blah.
I discovered that I have a deep fear of being misunderstood. do you think that's wrong? or weird?
3 comments:
I totally know what you mean. I get a pit in my stomach. Oftentimes I don't say anything at all because I'm afraid of being misunderstood. I don't know which is worse.
I have a sense of humor that is often misunderstood by those who don't know me. As a result, I try to avoid situations where I have to talk by telling people that my tongue was cut out in a Soviet labor camp as punishment for stealing soup. I say this so that they will understand why I don't talk, but they always are just like "oh yeah? then how did you just tell me your tongue was cut out in a Soviet labor camp?" I've thought about holding a sign, but that's just getting way too complicated.
I'm of fan of your blog and have been following the monastic experience (very intresting and kinda cool to try even w/o the class) lately. I totally get what you say and think that secretly the majority of people feel the same, whether it is what they say or who they are everyone wants to be understood.
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